War paint and a little CS Lewis

It's about to start storming and I am sitting in a quiet house. Toy Story hasn't been played in almost 24 hours, I got to "sleep in" - well at least stay in the bed past 7, and last night Bryant and I ate supper at 8 while watching the Duck Dynasty marathon. Yep, just because we could.

My AMAZING momma has William this week, and while I miss him like crazy (yes, Bryant had to stop me from FaceTiming with them 5 hours after I dropped him off) it has been nice to have a breather. It's given Bryant and I some good time to talk, to think and to prepare for what's ahead for us.

Last night he read this quote to me...


"We're not doubting that God will do the best for us, we're wondering how painful the best will turn out to be." -CS Lewis


I have thought about this so much this morning. It hits us where we are. So uncertain of what lies ahead and knowing either road is going to be long and painful, but oh so certain our God's plan is perfect, pleasing and good. 


Bryant also told me that during this period of waiting how important it was for me/us to store up on scripture and prayer. This is some advice our pastor had given us and has been so good for us to rely on. During the lull (not that life is not blowing at full force, but for now the waters seem calm) to get as much as we could, because the days ahead we may face times that we can't. I try to imagine what those days ahead will look like, and to be perfectly honest, I can't even get a picture in my head. 


He also told me it was time to put my game face on. 


I laugh typing this, because his definition and my definition of "game face" differs just a tad! When I see Bryant with his game face on, I think William Wallace...war paint on the face...hair unruly...riding a horse...screaming something about freedom and ready to fight whatever comes near him with a spear. My game face, however, somewhat resembles a hockey goalie. The biggest mask that covers every inch of my head and padding that makes me look 5x the size of my normal body. I'm staying away from the action, until I have to get involved...the whole time hoping they keep the action on the other side of the ice! My defense...a wooden stick and a holey net. 


I often think how Bryant and I are so much alike, but often marvel at how God paired us perfectly together to compliment each other. I  do not like confrontation, I am not aggressive and most definitely steer away from things that cause me to get out of my comfort zone. My warrior husband is strongest in these areas. He doesn't push me to be these things, but holds my hand and walks me through them.


Even with his war paint on, he has carried me compassionately through this dark time. He's constantly fighting for me, for William and for our little girl. His biggest fight is to prepare his family for what we have to face in the coming of days. His only way has been by time with the Father. 


We are staring at 4 weeks...a month until we hold Henley in our arms. 


For the longest it seemed it wouldn't get here and we were so far from the reality of having our 2nd child. But with reality coming, our minds have gone places in the matter of minutes. We know that either road we stand before has a long, mountainous terrain ahead. It's hard not to get caught up in the preparation while trying to prepare. I know that probably doesn't make sense...we know we have to prepare in some areas, but its hard to not let that preparation run to far ahead or get carried away where we begin to worry and fear. I've mentioned before that I am a planner by nature...my mind immediately goes to how will we pay for medical expenses/things she may need, where will we stay if Henley is in the hospital for a long period of time, what about our house, bills, grass getting mowed, pets, dinner, how will William adjust and where will he be in the midst of all this, what about Bryant's work? The questions come fast, and the answers sometimes don't arrive when I would like for them to.

It becomes worry and fear, rather than trust and reliance on Him.

So I write all this to ask for prayers...I know that there are literally hundreds of precious people praying for my family through this journey we are on. I know I've never met some of you, and may not while here on earth, but we also have learned that the Body of Christ is used for His Glory and ministers to His people. We may not know you...but one day will worship in eternity with you...so we are blessed by you and grateful for you.

Please pray that Bryant and I would:
-store up in prayer and scripture over the next month
-be obedient to what we've been called to...use our family to radiate His Glory
-be content in ALL circumstances
-see this suffering as our need to run and cling to the cross and long for our heavenly home
-get rest for the days ahead
-use this season of life to minister to others
-worship HIS HOLY NAME
-be diligent to discipline and shepherd William over the days/weeks/months to come
-trust God's plan and timing for the things He reveals and gives us
-lay Henley and William at the feet of Christ
-give God the Glory for all that He is doing

We are earnestly praying for healing for Henley, but even more that that we want God to be exalted through our family and through her life.

To say that my God is amazing, is just not enough. As I was typing this post, I got a text from Bryant and some of our "concerns" have been met. Our God is so gracious to provide for us, but He is amazing in that He goes far beyond just providing. He gives abundantly and I am in awe. He pours out blessings to an undeserving people.

I'm humbled.