Today, fortunately, I would tell you something different.
When I see this map, my heart races, tears can quickly find their way to my eyes. I have a giddiness, heartache and I become intensely passionate. That's because in a section of that country, part of my heart resides. Our child.
God has graciously blessed Bryant and I to start the adoption process to bring our child home, from Ethiopia, Africa.
When I found out I was pregnant with William and Henley, it was all I could think of. My thoughts often drifted to my pregnancy, what this child would look like, what their personalities would be, how they would grow up to change this world, and what their addition would bring to our family. This has been no different. Bryant and I dream about this sweet baby of ours, carried by a different woman, but born into our family.
I guess I need to start from the beginning of this journey...so I will back up a bit.
Our sweet Father continues to amaze me by the way He works. Eleven years ago when Bryant and I met, I could not have told you that we would face all that we have. But today, I can say that His ways are most definitely not ours, but are far better...and I would choose His ways every time.
We both have always had a desire to adopt. Being with Henley in the NICU really opened our eyes to the need. We truly saw orphaned children...while we sang and prayed and loved on our sweet baby...others sat alone with no one but precious nurses to care for them. We knew after experiencing that, it wouldn't be our last encounter with the fatherless.
We wanted to make sure our motives were right and pure in bringing this child into our family. We've spent much time in prayer, talking with our families, getting biblical counsel, and pouring our heart out to each other. Bryant asked me one day why I wanted to do this...it was more of a thought provoker than him really expecting an answer. He left for work and I kept thinking on the question...why would I want to be a mother to a baby that I didn't carry for 9 months? The only thing that kept coming to my mind was William and Henley. William has a momma and a daddy who tuck him in each night, who pray with him, sing to him, tickle him, kiss his "ouchies" and share the love of our God who created him. Henley has parents who didn't give up on her when doctors told us to, who sat beside her and read her scriptures, and a mommy and daddy who fought with her through every struggled breath.
There is a baby boy out there (with MILLIONS others) who will never know of any of this. He will never have the love of parents - and He may never get to experience or learn of the love of his Heavenly Father. We are called to care for the orphans, it looks different for everyone, but for our family it means to bring them home, our home, their home. We have been adopted by a Heavenly Father, adopted as sons and daughters and brought into His family. We were once orphaned - turned from our Creator and dead in our sin - He bought us with a price and made us to be His Heirs, with Christ. We want this gospel evident in our family, and we want the picture to be seen in our living room and with little faces that sit at our kitchen table. Every tongue, tribe and nation.
I am reading a book and there is a part that puts into words what I can't seem to do:
"Adoption is a redemptive response to tragedy that happens in this broken world. And every single day, it is worth it, because adoption is God's heart. His Word says, "In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will." (Ephesians 1:5) He sets the lonely in families (Psalm 68:6). The first word that appears when I look up adoption in the dictionary is "acceptance." God accepts me, adores me even, just as I am. And He wants me to accept those without families into my own. Adoption is the reason I can come before God's throne and beg Him for mercy, because He predestined me to be adopted as His child through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will - to the praise of His glorious grace."
So - God willing - we will be bringing home a son from Ethiopia. He may or may not be born yet, as we haven't been "assigned" to a child. It is a LONG process...we are looking at 18-24 months before we get our little guy home. It is lots of paperwork, a homestudy, paperwork, interviews, paperwork, government clearances, paperwork, medical clearances (even for the animals!) and then of course...MORE PAPERWORK!! Prayers for patience and diligence for all this paperwork is greatly appreciated! It is also extremely expensive, so we are trusting that God will provide the funds for what He has called us to do!
For us this is uncharted territory. We've never done this, and for most of you reading this...I'm sure this is a new thing for you too! We know there will be difficulties, hardships, and possibly even heartache all along this journey. But there is one thing we are sure of...We will suffer for the sake of Christ.
We have both experienced that in the hardest of times, we gain some of the sweetest times with our God. We have no doubt this journey will hold true to that.
Bryant and I are not trying to just rescue a child and bring him in to a better situation, although I hope we can create a home for him that he feels valued, loved and a part of. But instead, we want him to be a part of a forever family...God's family. Our heart is to bring this child in, and along with William, train these boys in the way of the Lord. That they would love Him more than life itself and would leave our home and proclaim His name, to the nations, risking their lives for Christ's sake.
This week, we have been able to see how this looks "lived out." Our precious friend, who is part of our family, lost his grandfather. They are both from South Sudan. Our friend lost the majority of his family during the war, completely heart breaking and devastating, but our amazing God redeemed his story. His grandfather, a man who feared and loved the Lord, took him in and raised him...a perfect picture of adoption. Together they survived the war, living in the jungle, and spent days and nights teaching and learning about the love of a God they would both serve. Today, our dear friend is a mighty warrior for the Kingdom. Someone I would want my boys to look up to. He would tell you that his grandfather played a major role in God's redemption story in his life.
A man who chose a child to be his own, a man who chose to raise him and teach him, a man who chose adoption.
Our hearts desire echoes this for our sons, and daughters.
More than anything, we are beyond excited, blessed, and humbled that God has chosen this path for our family! Bryant and I have prayed over and over again that He would use our family to bring Glory to His great name and to advance His Kingdom through Christ. We trust that He is in control of this process, and that He will get all the Glory.
We are excited to share this journey with you and one day introduce you to the little boy we've yet to lay eyes on, but has captured our hearts.
As the Father pursues His children and brings them to Himself...we are pursuing our son, to bring him home.
