Why Ethiopia?

A question that is often asked to Whitney and me is, “Why Ethiopia?” I do believe this is a valid question being that there are statistically 153 million orphans in the world, but it is a rather overwhelming question. I think the real questions behind; “Why Ethiopia?” are why not adopt domestically rather than internationally? Why go to Ethiopia when there are 400,540 orphans in the foster care system in your own country and 115,000 of those are waiting to be adopted? Why not adopt from a country where many children are not being adopted from?  Why not adopt from China, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Congo, Uganda, Bulgaria, Hungary, Poland, Ukraine, Columbia, Costa Rica, Dominican Republic, Haiti, Honduras, Peru, and many other countries. And last of all, why not open your home to children who need to be fostered in hopes that those children can return back to their family in order to be an advocate of family preservation. As you can see, “Why Ethiopia?” can be an overwhelming question for us as our hearts desire is to care for the orphan. When this question is posed, please excuse the glassy look in our eyes or the stumbling of words in our mouth due to our hearts being full of emotions for the least of these, bursting forth deep within us as we try to explain.

When Whitney and I knew that we wanted to expand our family by adopting a child, our first thought was to explore the need where we live. As we began our exploration, we also had a desire to adopt where there was great need. You may say there is a need everywhere, because every orphan has a need and I most definitely agree with you, but I would also add that within the orphans need, some are at greater risk than others. For example, the risk involved with institutionalization compared to the risk of foster care and so on. We both asked these questions and in our exploration we began to realize that the risk associated with children being in an orphanage gave cause for a great need. In our discernment, we chose to adopt internationally due to no foster care system being implemented internationally and children being institutionalized. We had chosen our adoption agency, which is Lifeline, and we began looking at the countries that Lifeline had relationships with to choose where we would pursue our child. We then took those countries and spread them out on the table and asked ourselves, how are we suppose to choose where our child will be adopted from due to the need being so great in them all? As we pleaded to the Father to reveal to us where he would have us pursue, we began to look at all the countries with no heart strings attached. We examined the requirements that each country had given to adopting families by the orphan’s country of origin. Requirements such as how much equity we had, the age of orphans available, how old the adopting parents had to be and how many in-country trips were needed to be taken. Whitney and I went through each country examining its requirements and comparing it to what we could handle with our lives. In the end, two countries remained left on our table with no hearts string attached; Taiwan and Ethiopia. Now, it was time for us to examine our hearts as to where we wanted to go and why?

We both believe and see the importance of family being connected to a local church. In our church, we had a brother whose parents operate an orphanage in Uganda, Africa, called Restoration Gateway. We’ve heard their stories and have seen the pictures of the orphan’s faces. In our hearts, Whitney and I would long to visit them in their affliction. Our church would care for them through prayer and finances. Also in our church, we have a brother from South Sudan, Africa, who has come to Troy for school. He is very dear to us and is known to my son as Uncle Bull. There have been many good conversations over hot meals at the dinner table where we have heard of his family, their church, village, and country. He loves them all and can’t wait to return to them. We have seen their faces in pictures and long to embrace them one day with a hug as we are connected to them through our brother’s stories. We have prayed for them in their hardships and joys and they have prayed for us through ours. We have heard of orphanages and have seen pictures of orphans in South Sudan and Uganda. Again, in our hearts, Whitney and I long to care for them in their suffering. As we saw the country Taiwan and Ethiopia lying on our table as possible countries, we knew where our hearts wanted to go. We can say with joy that our pursuit has lead us to the continent of Africa, the country of Ethiopia, the city of Addis Ababa, where we hope, with confidence, that our child will be found.

“Why Ethiopia?” leads us to a number of questions as mentioned earlier. When those questions are asked, we begin to see a small glimpse of the enormous orphan crisis worldwide that has it’s roots in sin. Our hearts then become heavy, but we are not left without hope. For Christ, who visited us in our own affliction; has given us our assured hope that sin and all it produces will be eradicated. Until that time, the church is called to visit the orphans and widows in their affliction. For this serves as a testimony of the reality that has come and will come in Christ. Through Christ, the story that has gone wrong will be made right.

James 1:27

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep one self unstained from the world.

 -Bryant

Pursuit

A few years ago, if you would have shown me this picture, I would have told you that this was a picture of the continent of Africa. There would have been no emotions, no heartstrings attached with that statement.

Today, fortunately, I would tell you something different.

When I see this map, my heart races, tears can quickly find their way to my eyes. I have a giddiness, heartache and I become intensely passionate. That's because in a section of that country, part of my heart resides. Our child.

God has graciously blessed Bryant and I to start the adoption process to bring our child home, from Ethiopia, Africa.

When I found out I was pregnant with William and Henley, it was all I could think of. My thoughts often drifted to my pregnancy, what this child would look like, what their personalities would be, how they would grow up to change this world, and what their addition would bring to our family. This has been no different.  Bryant and I dream about this sweet baby of ours, carried by a different woman, but born into our family.

I guess I need to start from the beginning of this journey...so I will back up a bit.

Our sweet Father continues to amaze me by the way He works. Eleven years ago when Bryant and I met, I could not have told you that we would face all that we have. But today, I can say that His ways are most definitely not ours, but are far better...and I would choose His ways every time.


We both have always had a desire to adopt. Being with Henley in the NICU really opened our eyes to the need. We truly saw orphaned children...while we sang and prayed and loved on our sweet baby...others sat alone with no one but precious nurses to care for them. We knew after experiencing that, it wouldn't be our last encounter with the fatherless.

We wanted to make sure our motives were right and pure in bringing this child into our family. We've spent much time in prayer, talking with our families, getting biblical counsel, and pouring our heart out to each other. Bryant asked me one day why I wanted to do this...it was more of a thought provoker than him really expecting an answer. He left for work and I kept thinking on the question...why would I want to be a mother to a baby that I didn't carry for 9 months? The only thing that kept coming to my mind was William and Henley. William has a momma and a daddy who tuck him in each night, who pray with him, sing to him, tickle him, kiss his "ouchies" and share the love of our God who created him. Henley has parents who didn't give up on her when doctors told us to, who sat beside her and read her scriptures, and a mommy and daddy who fought with her through every struggled breath.

There is a baby boy out there (with MILLIONS others) who will never know of any of this. He will never have the love of parents - and He may never get to experience or learn of the love of his Heavenly Father. We are called to care for the orphans, it looks different for everyone, but for our family it means to bring them home, our home, their home. We have been adopted by a Heavenly Father, adopted as sons and daughters and brought into His family. We were once orphaned - turned from our Creator and dead in our sin - He bought us with a price and made us to be His Heirs, with Christ. We want this gospel evident in our family, and we want the picture to be seen in our living room and with little faces that sit at our kitchen table. Every tongue, tribe and nation.

I am reading a book and there is a part that puts into words what I can't seem to do:

"Adoption is a redemptive response to tragedy that happens in this broken world. And every single day, it is worth it, because adoption is God's heart. His Word says, "In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will." (Ephesians 1:5) He sets the lonely in families (Psalm 68:6). The first word that appears when I look up adoption in the dictionary is "acceptance." God accepts me, adores me even, just as I am. And He wants me to accept those without families into my own. Adoption is the reason I can come before God's throne and beg Him for mercy, because He predestined me to be adopted as His child through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will - to the praise of His glorious grace."

So - God willing - we will be bringing home a son from Ethiopia. He may or may not be born yet, as we haven't been "assigned" to a child.  It is a LONG process...we are looking at 18-24 months before we get our little guy home. It is lots of paperwork, a homestudy, paperwork, interviews, paperwork, government clearances, paperwork, medical clearances (even for the animals!) and then of course...MORE PAPERWORK!! Prayers for patience and diligence for all this paperwork is greatly appreciated! It is also extremely expensive, so we are trusting that God will provide the funds for what He has called us to do!

For us this is uncharted territory. We've never done this, and for most of you reading this...I'm sure this is a new thing for you too! We know there will be difficulties, hardships, and possibly even heartache all along this journey. But there is one thing we are sure of...We will suffer for the sake of Christ.
We have both experienced that in the hardest of times, we gain some of the sweetest times with our God. We have no doubt this journey will hold true to that.

Bryant and I are not trying to just rescue a child and bring him in to a better situation, although I hope we can create a home for him that he feels valued, loved and a part of. But instead, we want him to be a part of a forever family...God's family. Our heart is to bring this child in, and along with William, train these boys in the way of the Lord. That they would love Him more than life itself and would leave our home and proclaim His name, to the nations, risking their lives for Christ's sake.

This week, we have been able to see how this looks "lived out." Our precious friend, who is part of our family, lost his grandfather. They are both from South Sudan. Our friend lost the majority of his family during the war, completely heart breaking and devastating, but our amazing God redeemed his story. His grandfather, a man who feared and loved the Lord, took him in and raised him...a perfect picture of adoption. Together they survived the war, living in the jungle, and spent days and nights teaching and learning about the love of a God they would both serve. Today, our dear friend is a mighty warrior for the Kingdom. Someone I would want my boys to look up to. He would tell you that his grandfather played a major role in God's redemption story in his life.

A man who chose a child to be his own, a man who chose to raise him and teach him, a man who chose adoption.

Our hearts desire echoes this for our sons, and daughters.

More than anything, we are beyond excited, blessed, and humbled that God has chosen this path for our family! Bryant and I have prayed over and over again that He would use our family to bring Glory to His great name and to advance His Kingdom through Christ. We trust that He is in control of this process, and that He will get all the Glory.

We are excited to share this journey with you and one day introduce you to the little boy we've yet to lay eyes on, but has captured our hearts.


As the Father pursues His children and brings them to Himself...we are pursuing our son, to bring him home.

Soaking up Sweet Times

Well, I just dusted off the cobwebs on my computer and decided it was time to blog again.

I have missed it...I honestly have blogged about 750 times, it just never made it to paper. Things like that happen around here. Life with a BUSY two year old doesn't allow much to "get on paper."

And I'm ok with that.  But, I am going to try my hardest to keep this little blog up, because the Lord is doing some exciting things in our life...more on that to come...and I want to document His works!

My days lately have been keeping up with a little guy, who no longer resembles my baby. He's growing up. Fast. Our days are never dull, and packed with many opportunities for us both to learn. He's learning his shapes, colors, numbers, and how to obey. I am learning that parenting is hard, that my job is to prepare him to one day face his Creator, that discipline and training doesn't end, and that God's grace is abundant.

Parenting is hard...did I mention that? We are in a parenting class right now and it's been so eye opening. As a society, we see kids as an inconvenience...not a blessing or a reward. It takes effort to discipline and train them and to be honest, it sometimes takes away from something we want to do. We have to stop what we are doing in order to take care of something. I have seen my sinful nature more in raising William than I ever have before. It's heartbreaking and humbling...just a little confession there. A dear friend sent me an email this week and part of it said - What are we preparing our kids for: "Not prom, not marriage, not any other worldly thing but to stand before a holy God and have Him say "Well done my good and faithful servant." 
Yikes! That hit me, really hard. I so often worry about everything that doesn't matter in the eyes of God, but in the eyes of man.

It all stems from our hearts. I pray that the Lord will continue to purge my heart and that He would be the One to one day change William's.

So even though these days are hard...I know that this is what we are called and required to do.

"Remember children are born with a decided bias toward evil, and therefore if you let them choose for themselves, they are certain to choose wrong....Our hearts are like the earth on which we tread; let it alone, and it is sure to bear weeds." - Ryle (Withhold Not Correction)

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I was asked one day recently in an interview to describe William. That's something I've never had to do. If you have been around our son, ever, you will know that he has a PERSONALITY. The first word I could think of to answer her question was vibrant. He is a passionate child, fiercely independent,   strong willed, and a leader. However, those qualities are shared with those of a tender hearted, compassionate child. He hurts when you hurt, and loves to snuggle up with his momma.  He deeply loves his daddy and wants to imitate whatever he does. I would say that Bryant is his hero...and for that I'm thankful! He's animated, has an imagination that makes me giggle and will be perfectly content playing outside for hours. He loves his real friends, but is happy to carry on a conversation with "B" (yes, the bunny is still in our lives) or Buzz Lightyear on his plastic phone. We tuck him in bed each night with dirt under his nails and a big smile on his face.

I adore this age.

And there is absolutely nothing better than hearing "I too momma." when you tell him you love him.
Ahh, be still my heart.